Meridian Wellbeing
Hypnotherapy and Talking Therapies
Meridian Wellbeing
Hypnotherapy and Talking Therapies
... to achieve lasting change
Online or In-Person Sessions - Based in Stirling
My Blog
Posted on 1 June, 2016 at 5:37 |
It isn’t enough to
tell people who are fearful to be courageous. It isn't enough to tell people
who lack confidence that they should be more confident, relax, or just be
themselves. It isn't enough to tell people who are sad, that if they change
their thinking they will feel happy. It isn't enough to tell people who are
pessimistic that they would get on better if they were more optimistic, or more
positive. It isn't enough because actually, they know that already. The
difficulty is in not feeling safe – not feeling safe to let go of their
feelings, their situation and their circumstances enough to feel courageous,
happy, confident or optimistic. All unwanted
feelings, behaviours and habits serve some positive purpose on the subconscious
level, even if they don’t immediately seem logical to the conscious mind. They
usually equate in some way to keeping us safe and comfortable. If we can
develop a healthy respect for those unwanted feelings or behaviours, whether
they are in ourselves or in others, then we have taken the first step in
understanding their root cause. The subconscious
mind wants to protect us, to keep us safe, to shelter us from harm. If the
person who contains that subconscious mind has learned, through real and
consistent experience that they are in tangible and constant danger, such as
from the abuse of another, ill health, financial hardship, deprivation, how can
they just switch that protective response off? More importantly, why would
they? Their subconscious mind will naturally resist. Not only does that feel
unsafe, but it would actually put them more at risk, make them more vulnerable
to danger, and less ready to respond to a threat. In order to feel
courageous, happy, confident and optimistic, and who doesn’t want to feel this
way, this new way of thinking needs to
be safer than the old way. Feeling courageous in the face of danger has to BE
safer than feeling fearful. Feeling happy has to BE safer than feeling sad.
That is what creates empowering change. To do this we need to clearly outline
on a subconscious level why feeling courageous, happy, confident and optimistic
is safer. To show the protective subconscious mind that feeling fearful is not
keeping us safe, it is actually damaging to our health and wellbeing, draining
our resources, restricting our opportunities for empowerment, change and choice.
Feeling courageous is safer, because it gives us back the main thing we lose
when we are fearful – control, control of how we feel. Once we have shown the
subconscious mind what it needs to do and why, then we need to provide the
subconscious mind with examples of how to do this. We don’t need to spell out a
solution, the subconscious mind has the skills, experience and resources to
figure this out for itself, but it needs to left with a flavour of the changes
that it needs to make, and what the solution will look like, what the potential
outcome will be. Instead of the old way of focusing on what it wants to avoid,
what it wants to move away from, the subconscious mind needs a new, clear and
positive vision and goal of what it wants to move towards. That is enough to
achieve the desired change. |
Categories: Hypnotherapy
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